The Munnster Strikes Again

Seems you can’t turn on your TV these days without being greeted by the chummy visage of Geoffrey Munn and his plummy tones pontificating about Fabergé.

On a recent Fake or Fortune he assessed the authenticity of a Fabergé flower with all the decisiveness of Pontius Pilate. Then, on Sunday 20 September, he was wheeled out on the Antiques Roadshow to examine what the BBC’s publicity machine trumpeted as ‘a rare and valuable Fabergé clock.’ That gushing description was no doubt designed to boost audience numbers, but was totally misleading. Yes, the clock was by Fabergé – but it was not rare, nor was it particularly valuable.

The aptly chosen venue for Sir Geoffrey’s latest heart-throb performance was Valentines Mansion, a stately pile in north-east London where he welcomed the lady owner of the ‘rare and valuable clock’ in typically chivalrous fashion.

‘You’ve brought it from the safe deposit today, haven’t you?’ he began, referring to the case the owner was carrying.

‘Yes, Sir!’ replied the owner obsequiously.

Sir Geoffrey handled the case with his usual authority. ‘I’ve got a pretty strong idea of what’s in it’ he declared, displaying his Sherlock Holmes powers of deduction. ‘I think if we open this up, we’re going to see exactly what’s in it, because it’s written in the lid.’

You can’t argue with that sort of logic.

‘In it’ declared Sir Geoffrey solemnly, like a magician about to pull out a rabbit, ‘is this remarkable Fabergé silver clock. In absolutely pristine condition.’

What the devil was he talking about? It was a mundane Fabergé entry-level clock. There was nothing in the least remarkable about it.

‘We did wonder a bit whether it could have been a wedding gift, because it’s white’ continued Sir Geoffrey penetratingly.

‘I inherited it from my mother, who inherited it from her mother’ explained the owner. ‘My grandmother got married in Liverpool in 1909, but she was the one who’d had a Russian mother. Part of my family came over from Russia in the mid-19th century. I know Fabergé wasn’t really operating at that particular time.’

‘No’ nodded Sir Geoffrey in schoolmasterly fashion. ‘This is actually a 20th century piece. St Petersburg, Moscow, Odessa… we know about the different locations of the business. It was a hugely important business. Carl Fabergé had an enormous amount of help – there were 500 people working for him!’

Cue gasps from the crowd. 

‘Good heavens!’ exclaimed the owner dutifully. ‘I really, really didn’t know that.’

‘300 people making the things, 200 administrative staff’ continued Sir Geoffrey blithely [according to Fabergé’s Chief Workmaster, Fritz Birbaum, the firm employed around 300 craftsmen  in both St Petersburg and Moscow; add on the ‘administrative staff’ and you have a workforce of 800, not 500]. ‘They’re made by hand at a bench with several disciplines, but there doesn’t seem to be any sign of human activity on the surface. As though they’ve sort of fallen out of the sky!’

What the hell does that mean? Were they made by Snow White’s Seven Dwarves in a Wonderland raining Cats, Dogs and Fabergé ?

Cue more gasps from the crowd.

‘And so this is the magic of it all!’ asserted Sir Geoffrey grandly. ‘Turn it over and look at the hallmarks and you can see it’s fully hallmarked here with the full name of ФАБЕРЖЕ and the initials H.W. of Henrik Wigström, who was the Chief Workmaster to Fabergé and the maker of the Imperial Easter Eggs.’

‘I’m more and more amazed!’ gushed the owner.

Sir Geoffrey was equally overwhelmed. ‘The mercury is rising!’ he perspired. ‘I think I’m going to have a nice lie-down after this.’

Cue brief medicinal pause.

‘I think it’s the most exquisite example of Fabergé’s work!’ concluded Sir Geoffrey emphatically, after regaining his composure. ‘And very covetable!’

‘Covetable!?’ Did you ever hear that word before? Coveted – yes, I used the word on a daily basis. But I ve never heard anyone else use the word ‘covetable’! I guess Sir Geoffrey meant ‘desirable’ – but couldn’t resist the chance to show the jaw-dropping extent of his erudite vocabulary.

‘What I’m going to address is how covetable this object is’ reiterated Sir Geoffrey, with relish. ‘And, being the Antiques Roadshow… [DRAMATIC PAUSE]…  we’ve got to have a stab at the value!’

Cue expectant murmurs from the thousands of awe-struck onlookers now gathered around this humble clock. What on earth can have attracted them? Sir Geoffrey’s charisma? A wad of BBC fivers for all concerned? Why would anyone go to an Antiques Roadshow unless they had something to sell? – To ask Sir Geoffrey for his autograph? Really??

‘Everything is exactly as it should be’ decreed Sir Geoffrey. ‘Everything is in its place!

Did he expect a clock without a dial or with the hands falling off?

‘This clock,’ continued the Great Man, ‘is probably worth…. [DRUM-ROLL]… one hundred thousand pounds!’

Cue cheers and applause.

‘Oh, shit’ gasped the owner. ‘Wow! I can go on holiday.’

‘I know’ approved Sir Geoffrey. ‘It’s utterly thrilling. Knocked us all for six! It’s absolutely stunning! Thank you so much for bringing it in.’

What a load of baloney! Knocked who for six? – more like a streaky single down to fine-leg. And just where, pray, could this clock be worth £100,000? In some swanky retail outlet in London, New York or Hong Kong? 

‘Thank you for your advice’ purred the owner. ‘It’s just wonderful.’

Sir Geoffrey smiled benignly and tried to look modest.

Fiona Bruce was equally impressed. ‘How about that?’ she enthused. ‘Isn’t that amazing? …Y’know, no Roadshow is complete without Geoffrey and a bit of Fabergé…. I gather that quite a few of you at home play Roadshow Bingo every time Geoffrey says Fabergé ! So there you are. You got it!’

Cue end-of-show credits. Crowd Goes Wild.

The crowd might not have gone quite so wild had they known the truth: that the ‘rare and valuable Fabergé clock’ was anything but. Just a plain white round silver guilloché clock in its original fitted case.

How absurd to use words like ‘covetable’ or ‘remarkable’ for such a basic clock. It’s the sort of piece for someone starting out on a budget Fabergé collection. Plain white enamel silver clocks – whether round, square or rectangular – are the bottom of the Fabergé Clock chain. I doubt the piece would float a boat for a serious Fabergé collector. On the open market it would be worth £40,000 at most. Plain white is the least interesting Fabergé clock colour.  Auction houses would probably estimate the clock at £30,000-40,000. But £100,000? … Never!

There have been several plain Fabergé clocks sold at auction in recent years: examples are pictured below. Most sold for under £40,000 (including hammer). Okay, if someone needs an urgent birthday present for Mr Big or a Darling Wife, exceptions may occur. But £30,000-40,000 is a typical price!

For £100,000 you can buy a beautifully coloured clock with garlands, swags and multi-tone enamel! And desirable Fabergé clocks come in sophisticated shapes. The four illustrated below all swept past top-estimate, to sell between £95,000-120,000:

To describe the modest clock presented on the Antiques Roadshow as ‘stunning’ is complete overkill – and an astonishing assessment coming from Sir Geoffrey, who worked at Wartski for donkey’s years and must have seen any number of truly stunning Fabergé objects. Good job the clock was in pristine condition, otherwise it would have been worth next to nothing.

It’s regrettable that the Antique Munn’s Show does not give an accurate picture of the market, but deceives people when it comes to value. Airly trotting out a sum like £100,000, just to titillate the audience, is utterly irresponsible. £100,000 is a lot of money. Munn plays with numbers like a caller in Fiona’s Bingo Hall. I remember how in 2018 he declared that a Fabergé Pear Blossom study, commissioned for the Worcestershire Hussars, was worth a million quid. Ludicrous! Trotting out prices that have no root in commercial reality is pure ratings-chasing bullshit.

By resorting to Sir Geoffrey’s ‘expertise’ the BBC is doing the market no favours at all. No one seems to check the rubbish he comes out with. He’s just a smooth-talking showman leading viewers up the garden path.